I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
