my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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