the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
