Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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