just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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