next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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