Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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