He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
