Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
