yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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