I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
