I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
