How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
