he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
