My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
