i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
