Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
