So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
