i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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