I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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