I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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