it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
