Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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