Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
