Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
