I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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