I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize