i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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