You're my little dorito
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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