I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
