p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
