Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
