i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Two words: nipple clamps
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