is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
