When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize