i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
