Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I supernannyed him into submission
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
