on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
