As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
