This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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