dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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