she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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