He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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