the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
wow bdsm is so cute
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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