Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
