Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
