this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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