We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Houston, we have a squirter
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
