this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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