Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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