I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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