just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
