Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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