I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
