Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
