Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
