just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
