So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
