your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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