I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
