the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is classic penis vs brain.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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