PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My cat gives me a boner
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
