i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
