I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
