a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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