the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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